Camdown #8: The Weight of a Name :: Family

05 Aug 1922
Breakfast
9:00am

Sun blanketed her room, brightening up the space. The curtains were open, the window cracked, a summer breeze lifted the fabric up slightly, billowing it out in a fluid wave. Tilly didn’t look at the window, or the curtains. She didn’t hear the birds chirping outside or the sounds of the city wafting in with the wind.

Laying on her back, Tilly stared at the ceiling above her bed. Her eyelids would blink, but her eyes didn’t move from the spot on the ceiling. Sleep had been spotty, tossing and turning all night long. When she did find sleep, dreams would wake her up in a sweaty heap of blankets and limbs.

The dreams were vivid. She could smell the roses on the table and hear the music playing from the other room. Everything about the dream felt real, which made waking all the more confusing. In one, she was in the garden working with plants, nothing shocking there. It was almost soothing, the breeze lifting her hair while the flowers drifted to and fro with the air. What pulled her from the serene scene was when she looked down and saw a large wedding ring sitting on her left hand. Lifting it up slowly, her hand shaking, when the sun hit the ring a glint blinded her pulling her out of sleep.

Each dream, or some might call them nightmares, had a common theme. Marriage. Some included her mystery fiance, others were more abstract like the ring. Her living this new life, feeling happy and calm, but the minute her mind caught up with the scene she would jolt out of her dream.

They had returned home late after the party, so she wasn’t surprised that no one had called breakfast. The smell of bacon and waffles drifted through the crack under her door, causing her stomach to make a loud angry grumbling sound.

The last thing she wanted was to see her grandfather, but the faceoff was inevitable. She expected the betrayal from her grandmother, Allegra has been a bitch from day one, but not Bram.

Getting up out of bed, Tilly walked to her attached bathroom to get ready, deciding on a simple pair of linen overalls and a white shirt. Once the confrontation was over, she would spend the rest of her day in the garden. She needed to touch the plants, dig in the earth. It grounded her, anchored her, helped her think. Her scar was on full display, but she didn’t care.

---

Walking into the kitchen, Poppy looked up from where she cut up fresh fruit and put it on a tray. The look of concern was clear on her face, but with one glance at Bram, she kept her mouth shut. Tilly didn’t acknowledge her grandfather. It was coming, but she needed a few more minutes to collect her thoughts.

Walking to the breakfast bar, Tilly took a plate and put a single waffle, one piece of bacon and a few pieces of fruit on her plate. While she was hungry, her stomach was queasy with nerves. For a minute, she thought about leaving the room to eat somewhere else, but she could feel his eyes on her. The man had been her rock since she was 12 years old, she needed to understand why he had gone behind her back.

With a thud, Tilly put her plate on the table and sat down. Nothing on her plate looked appetizing, the nausea getting worse. Looking up at Bram, Tilly saw the concern and sorrow in his eyes. Talking would be difficult, so she asked the one thing she needed to know, once he answered that question, she was sure more would come.

“Why?” Her voice cracked. “Why would you side with her when you know how I feel about this?”

Sitting in the chair, food forgotten, arms crossed over her chest, she waited for the only man she ever truly trusted, to make this make sense.

Everything about the last sixteen hours had been an absolute cluster fuck. He knew he was at fault, but put a large portion of the blame on Allegra. She hadn’t just blindsided Matilda, but himself as well. They had agreed, once the decision had been made, he would sit down and discuss things with Matilda.

Make her understand.

Make her see reason.

There was one thing he hadn’t taken into account. You couldn’t MAKE Matilda Nordstrom do anything. The girl was a force of nature… quite literally, considering her affinity with plants.

He heard the footsteps on the stairs before he saw the person, but he knew who it was before she walked through the door. As she entered, Bram took in the state of her. She looked exhausted. Face puffy, bags under her eyes. It looked like sleep was hard to come by for more than just him.

As she sat with her food, Tilly finally looked up. He knew it was coming. “Why?” The crack in her voice gutted him. “Why would you side with her when you know how I feel about this?”

Alice appeared then, which was for the best. He’d rather get it all out on the table at once. Leaning forward, Bram set his crossed arms on the table and sighed. “I understand that you’re angry. Rightfully so. Please, just listen. I know this is a lot and you don’t understand the why’s, so please. Just listen.”

Bram paused, choosing his words carefully.

“You think I sided with her, but I didn’t. Not in the way you think. When Allegra brought up this plan, at first I was against it. As you know, she was looking for anyone, any age, with no concern for your feelings. I shut that down immediately.”

That had been a tense and explosive conversation. “When she came to me with Dragomire, everything looked great on paper. We discussed having a dinner to introduce you. I told her, in no uncertain terms, that we would not go ahead with the match if you didn’t like him.”

He looked at Matilda, a softness in his expression. He knew that things had turned, the trust was broken, which gutted him. Looking at Alice, he could see the anger and betrayal in her face as well. He had a lot to make up for.

“I agreed that he was a good match.” He leaned back slightly, watching her reaction before continuing. “Matilda… you are not invisible in this world. You are the eldest of the Nordstrom line. Alice, you are the eldest of the Ravenstone’s. With that comes expectations.”

This was a conversation he should have had years ago, but there was always something stopping him. This was his fault.

“The Nordstrom name carries weight in the magical world. I’ve kept you fairly sheltered from that. You stand to inherit my entire estate, properties, money, etc. Your Uncle Gannon will inherit the Nordstrom name and estate, then your cousin Peter after that. So the house in Sweden, the family properties and the responsibilities that come with it."

His gaze hardened slightly, not at her, but at the thought. “I don’t know if you realize just how much money we’re talking about. It’s more than you can spend in a lifetime. I know the kind of men who will come knocking, who will take advantage of you and your love. I will not leave you unprotected, to potentially be hurt by someone just out for your money.”

He leaned forward again, forearms resting on the table. “Dragomir is not a boy playing with your affections. He is not here for the money or the name, he has his own. He was raised with duty. With discipline. With loyalty to his family.” A pause. “Those are not small things.”

Bram’s expression softened slightly. “I am not asking you to marry him tomorrow.” He sighed, exhausted from stress and worry. “I am asking you to meet him. To speak with him. To decide for yourself whether there is something there worth considering.”

Looking into her bright blue eyes, he saw tears and so many questions staring back at him. It was a lot of information to take in at one. This should have been planned out, discussed, given in small bites. He had procrastinated and Allegra had rushed. They really were playing against each other.

“You think I’ve betrayed you.” A small exhale. “But everything I’ve done is to make sure you have a choice that doesn’t cost you later.”

Alice rolled over in bed and stared out the window. It was so damn bright. It was so damn happy. And yet it didn’t match anything she was feeling at the moment. She hadn’t had much time to talk to Tilly about anything, as everyone went straight to bed after returning home. And she’d avoided their grandfather like the plague.

But now it was morning. Things had settled. And yet Alice didn’t feel settled at all. She couldn’t help but to continue feeling betrayed. She hadn’t even been the one to be slighted with what happened the night before, but she still felt it.

She could smell breakfast cooking, which usually put her in a pretty good mood. But Alice rose from bed feeling almost numb because she didn’t know how to handle everything she was feeling. Her thoughts were highly negative.

She pulled on a black sundress and left her hair a bit messy before making her way down for breakfast. She could hear her cousin’s question, her voice shaky and cracking as she turned the corner, entering the kitchen.

Alice kept her eyes focused on her plate as she put a little bit of food on it, not really even paying attention to what it was she was putting on it.

She finally sat down next to Tilly, already knowing she’d not be eating. Now that she was in closer proximity to the source of the pain, she felt her stomach in knots.

Alice picked at her food, her eyes finally landing firmly on her grandfather’s face as he attempted to explain the situation. She stayed silent, her emotions bubbling underneath the surface.

“When she came to me with Dragomire, everything looked great on paper. We discussed having a dinner to introduce you. I told her, in no uncertain terms, that we would not go ahead with the match if you didn’t like him.”

He looked from Tilly to her. She didn’t move, but her face said it all – anger, betrayal. Everything.

“Matilda… you are not invisible in this world. You are the eldest of the Nordstrom line. Alice, you are the eldest of the Ravenstone’s. With that comes expectations.”

Brown eyes rolled and she shifted slightly. She stabbed a piece of fruit with her fork, with no intention of eating.

“You think I’ve betrayed you. But everything I’ve done is to make sure you have a choice that doesn’t cost you later.”

Alice couldn’t do it. Sure, everything he said made sense. But…

“That’s bullshit, Grandfather.” Perhaps a bit more stern than she had intended. “It might make sense in your head, but you are not a teenage girl who has not even finished school yet. You can’t possibly know what it’s like to feel like being sold is our future,” she said. No, Alice wasn’t matched with anyone. Probably the only reason for that, is because her parents were in trouble with the law. And Bertram didn’t have actual custody of her; he was only her guardian.

The weight of responsibility settled in her stomach like a lead balloon. Shutting her eyes, Tilly shook her head just a smidge. Flashes of a future she never wanted sped through her mind. Parties, social events, charities, tea and lunch with the ladies. Was this the life she would lead?

The future she had always wanted was simple. A nice husband, small house in the country, a couple kids and the biggest garden she could manage. Studying to be a Herbalist had crossed her mind, maybe even working at St Mungos. Using her knowledge of plants to help people had taken root over the last couple years. Pun intended.

It never dawned on her that the life she wanted was out of reach.

“That’s bullshit, Grandfather. It might make sense in your head, but you are not a teenage girl who has not even finished school yet. You can’t possibly know what it’s like to feel like being sold is our future,”

Her cousin’s outburst popped her bubble, bringing her back to the present. Back to a life she didn’t know.

“I am not asking you to marry him tomorrow. I am asking you to meet him. To speak with him. To decide for yourself whether there is something there worth considering.”

Tilly’s stomach was rolling.

Her arms tightened where they were crossed over her chest, fingers digging slightly into the fabric of her sleeves. “You keep saying that like I have a choice, but it doesn’t feel like one. Just like Alice said, I feel like you're selling me to… maybe not the highest bidder, but the thickest wallet.” she said quietly. No yelling. No snapping. Just… tired.

A small pause. “If I say no… truly no… what happens then?” she asked, her voice steadier now, but no less heavy. “Do you drop it? Does she?” She knew the answer to this already. No, it wouldn’t be dropped. Allegra would never stop.

Her jaw tightened. “Or do I just get worn down until I say yes? ”

Her eyes flicked away for a moment before returning to him. She rubbed her forehead, trying to wipe away the headache brewing. “I met him, he’s not…” she hesitated, searching for the right word, “...awful. But that doesn’t mean I want this. I don’t want my life decided because it makes sense on paper.”

The plate with her breakfast sat untouched. Appetite completely gone. She looked at her grandfather with new eyes. For years he had been her rock, her savior, her parent. He took on that role when she came to live with him and hadn’t faltered. But now, the trust was broken. The man in front of her was a stranger with ulterior motives.

“What if I go to school this term and fall in love? What if my soul mate is waiting for me in the Great Hall when we arrive and now, because I’m betrothed to a stranger, I can’t be with him?”

“That’s bullshit, Grandfather.” Bram sighed at Alice’s outburst. The tone was unlike her, but with how her life had been uprooted lately, he wasn’t surprised. “It might make sense in your head, but you are not a teenage girl who has not even finished school yet. You can’t possibly know what it’s like to feel like being sold is our future.”

His eyes moved to Tilly. His words had done little to settle the anger in her eyes. In fact, Alice’s words seemed to add fuel to the fire.

“... I feel like you're selling me to… maybe not the highest bidder, but the thickest wallet.”

They weren’t listening. He was trying to save her from a worse fate. One where she was taken advantage of. If that were to happen, she would be stuck in a potentially volatile relationship with someone who did not have her best interests at heart.

“If I say no… truly no… what happens then?” Tilly looked so worn down, aged beyond her years. This is not something a sixteen year old should have to deal with, but it was a reality of the world they lived in. “Do you drop it? Does she? Or do I just get worn down until I say yes?”

Bram didn’t answer right away. Her words sat heavy in the air between them, sharp, honest, and deserved. “If you say no…” he began slowly, choosing each word carefully, “If you give this a real chance. Get to know Drago and really think about this and still say no, then I stop. On my end, it ends there.”

Bram leaned back slightly, running his hand over the salt and pepper stubble covering his chin. “I want you to have a say in this, but you know that Allegra will not be so easily deterred. She has made promises. Ones that should have been discussed with you before this started, but we both know that’s not her style. She will push this and attempt to wear you down.”

Bram leaned forward again, his voice quieter now, softer. “You think I am selling you, and I understand why it feels that way but I am trying to make sure that when you get married, you are not walking blindly into something far worse.”

“I met him, he’s not… awful. But that doesn’t mean I want this. I don’t want my life decided because it makes sense on paper. What if I go to school this term and fall in love? What if my soul mate is waiting for me in the Great Hall when we arrive and now, because I’m betrothed to a stranger, I can’t be with him?”

She was so young, so naive. Her world consisted of fantasy and dreams. The real word was a lot more dirty and underhanded. When word got out into society that a Nordstrom was of marrying age, men would come out of the wood work. Some already had, specifically a seedy restaurateur from Greece twice her age. It wasn’t a coincidence that his name was brought up, he had heard about Matilda and saw the dollar signs.

It was just the start. By tying her to the Zdravkova family, the men with ulterior motives would step back. “You speak of falling in love, and I don’t dismiss that. But love is not always immediate. Sometimes it’s built. Sometimes it grows from respect, from shared values, from time.” He paused, wanting that to really sink in. He would never admit that his marriage to Allegra was the worst decision of his life, because it gave him his children and ultimately his grandchildren.

“When I married your grandmother, I fell to the wishes of our families. It was expected. I will do my best to make sure you have a choice in this. I’m not asking you to say yes right now, I’m asking you to give this a chance. An Honest chance. Meet him. Get to know him. If you are able to put aside your anger, I truly believe you will like what you see.”

It was a big ask, one that he wasn’t sure she was capable of, but it was all he could do. There was still time, no wedding date had been picked. She had two years left at Hogwarts, while Drago only had one year left.

It was time for his girls to grow up and take off the rose colored glasses. The world was not all sunshine and roses. There was evil in the world and people that would jump at the chance to take advantage of their sweet spirits. This was a way to stop them in their tracks. And above all else, Drago seemed like a man that would take care of Matilda. Someone who she could learn to love if she gave him a chance.

The shape of it was unfair. Alice knew that arranged marriages were part of the Pureblood experience. From what she knew, her mother and father were not an arranged situation. She didn’t know the details, but she thought she remembered hearing they had chosen each other. But her grandfather was definitely arranged.

When she looked at her grandfather and grandmother, she saw nothing between them. Perhaps Grandfather tolerated Allegra now… how they had children together, she had no idea. The man clearly did not love the woman now.

That relationship was her model of an arranged marriage, and it left nothing to be desired. Alice would rather be a spinster than be committed to someone who didn’t want her around. (Granted, she didn’t think that she’d ever be anything like her grandmother and hopefully would be more lovable than her, but still…)

Brown eyes settled on Bram, her jaw set. Her arms across her chest. Matilda’s questions rested on Alice and she nodded slightly. All of those things were worth an answer from the patriarch of the family.

She heard his promises – his desire to have Tilly give the stranger a chance. Clearly he thought a lot of this Dragon boy. She refused to give in. Still, she let her gaze slide over to Tilly. She could feel the girl’s reluctance coming off of her in waves and it sucked.

Alice looked down at her plate, wondering what would end up happening in the future. Things were always so uncertain these days; when she and Everleigh were still living at home, she knew what that looked like. The moment that her sister was kidnapped, she no longer understood what normal was.

The things that she thought she knew for sure were now up in flames. Her father obliviated Everleigh. She’d seen it with her own eyes. Heard it with her own ears. And then her parents gave her and her sister potions to try to alter their memories. Or lose time. Or whatever the fuck it was honestly.

All Alice knew was that now, along with her parents, the adults in her life could no longer be trusted.