06 April 1923
Friday, 11am
Walking through the fireplace, leaving London and arriving at the Hogsmeade branch of Blackwood & Son’s, Gideon was all business. Hand holding tight to his very pregnant wife, he had a lot of ground to cover in a short amount of time.
Rose was getting more and more pregnant by the day. Her bump was growing, making it clear that a baby was on the horizon. Thankfully, the baby was due at the beginning of the summer, so they would bring the little bundle home to their London Townhome, but they would need another residence sooner rather than later.
Once the new school term started, Gideon wanted his wife and children close. Sure, magic made it easy to get from one location to another, but having them near the castle just seemed right.
”We’re meeting David in twenty minutes. From what he said, we will be looking at four, maybe five places. If you get too tired, just let me know. We can always come back another day.”
There weren’t many homes for rent in Hogsmeade. The small village holding more shops and restaurants than residences. Many of the workers lived above their shops or arrived via Floo powder, choosing to live in more populated areas. While Gideon made good money working at Hogwarts, and still getting a paycheck for owning shares of Blackwood & Sons, he thought renting might be the best option.
”Have you thought about what you might like? I was thinking something quaint, maybe a cottage. Three bedrooms, maybe a garden. I really want you to love it. I told him we were interested in renting, but if you’d like, we can buy. I’m just glad you and the kids will be close.”
Gideon turned to look at Rose, leaning in to kiss her, but stopped when he saw the look on her face. She looked… Confused? Maybe even concerned?
Rose had been listening, one hand resting on her bump as they walked, her other held tightly in her husband’s grasp. She was tired already thinking about the long day of house hunting they had in front of them. Honestly, she didn’t think it was necessary to purchase a place in Hogsmeade. The townhome was perfect, she didn’t plan on Lavinia leaving anytime soon so the kids could go home sometimes during the school year if they needed to. She and Gideon would remain at the castle throughout term.
Really, the setup was already perfect. But Rose kept her mouth shut about it because Gideon was so set on whatever he had planned in his head. Honestly, she figured he was trying to just be useful even if it was a bit much.
”We’re meeting David in twenty minutes. From what he said, we will be looking at four, maybe five places. If you get too tired, just let me know. We can always come back another day.”[/i]
[b]“Five?” Rose asked, already wanting to be back in their quarters at the castle.
”Have you thought about what you might like? I was thinking something quaint, maybe a cottage. Three bedrooms, maybe a garden. I really want you to love it. I told him we were interested in renting, but if you’d like, we can buy. I’m just glad you and the kids will be close.”
Rose furrowed her brow, wondering if she was just tired and that’s why she thought she misheard what he said. But when he turned to look at her, he spotted the confusion on her face. He’d leaned in for a kiss, but her furrowed brow stopped him.
“You and the kids… will be close?” Rose asked, pulling her hand from Gideon’s. Her voice was even, slightly tinged with confusion, her brain trying to race to catch up with whatever her husband was thinking. But now that she was standing there, looking up at him, her brow furrowed, the baby kicking…
“Gideon. What exactly is the plan here? For me, specifically. Once the baby comes.” Rose asked, but she already knew. He didn’t have to say it. Suddenly the house hunting made more sense. The cottage. The garden. Close to the castle… so he could visit.
Visit.
Rose’s heart dropped, feeling as if she was looking at a stranger. “Because… I have a job. I have students. I have a house full of Hufflepuffs who need a head. I have… a classroom, and…,” she said, feeling as if she was in some sort of weird alternate universe.
She frowned.
“Gideon. What exactly is the plan here? For me, specifically. Once the baby comes.” Giedon stopped, turning towards Rose. His face betrayed him, showing his confusion. It was obvious. Why would she even be asking.
”You’ll be here.” He said, gesturing to Hogsmeade, the village as a whole. ”The kids will be here. I’ll be at the castle. It’s a short walk, so I can be here quickly if needed.” He frowned slightly. He didn’t understand where the confusion had come from.
“I have a job. I have students...” Yes, she did have a job. Currently. Things would change once the term ended. The baby would be here in just eight short weeks, if she didn’t go into labour sooner. It was long past time to make plans. Once they found a place, they would have the summer to get everything set up.
”Yes, obviously you have a job, but you won’t after the term ends.” he said with certainty.
”I have a house full of Hufflepuffs who need a head. I have… a classroom, and…” Her eyes never left his. Staring with a strange look in her eyes, as if she didn’t understand what was going on. His face showed the same confusion, since it seemed she wasn’t on the same page.
”And you’ll have children. Our children.” There was no anger behind his words. He wasn’t talking down to her or belittling, it was just how things were. ”I don’t expect my wife to work.”
He was confused by this entire conversation. His brow knit, as if the very suggestion was foreign to him. Did she expect to work? Did she actually think that he would want her in the castle, with their infant, working to the bone on a daily basis? What kind of husband would he be if he let her do such a thing?
Gideon was a traditional man of the era. He was the bread winner, the provider. Rose had been on her own for years, but she had him now. She didn’t need to work. She could stay at home with the kids, build a family, build a home where there would be love and happiness. Such a life would be near impossible in the castle.
”I’ve been working on my accounts for over a year. Between Hogwarts, Blackwood & Sons, my investments, we’re comfortable. More than comfortable.” A small shake this his head, unsure how this happy day had gone so awry.
”What kind of husband would I be if I expected my wife to work while also trying to raise a family?”
”And you’ll have children. Our children. I don’t expect my wife to work.”
Rose’s mouth dropped open, her eyes searching his face. She could tell that he wasn’t trying to be mean about what he was saying, but she was completely befuddled. Nothing in their relationship up to this point had shown him that she was the type of woman to just quit work and become a housewife.
”I’ve been working on my accounts for over a year. Between Hogwarts, Blackwood & Sons, my investments, we’re comfortable. More than comfortable. What kind of husband would I be if I expected my wife to work while also trying to raise a family?”
She stood still, one hand on her bump, the other at the side. Rose loved Gideon more than she thought she’d love anyone other than her children. He was a man of the times – had grown up in a Pureblood home where the woman did things at home and the man worked.
“Gid… I love you. I want you to hear that first,” Rose said, her voice quiet and careful. She looked away momentarily, gathering her thoughts as she felt her eyes burning a bit, then looked back up at him.
“I have been working since I graduated. I put myself through Auror training with a baby on my hip. I became a fully qualified Auror,” she said. She hadn’t been the best mother, she’d admit that, but she’d done it. Fiona always felt loved. “I walked into Hogwarts and within one term they made me Head of House. I am not a woman who stops.”
Rose’s eyes stayed on his, steadily holding the eye contact because she would not back down.
“I am not your mother. I am not Catrin. I am not the kind of wife who waits at home.” Her tone was gentle, but unwavering. She loved both his mom and sister-in-law, but she was not built the same as them. “And I do not think that you would want that either. Because I wouldn’t be happy… Would you?” she asked, her voice cracking a little bit at the end.
Damn hormones.
Gideon’s expression remained calm, getting worked up would not help this situation. He listened without interruption.
There were many things that he loved about his wife. More than he could list, but one thing he had always admired about her was strength. She knew who she was, spoke with conviction, never raising her voice, never falling into theatrics. Even when it was obvious that she was angry with him
Which made this all the more difficult.
”I know exactly who you are. I married you for many reasons, your strength being one of them.” He sighed, rubbing his hand down his face in frustration. What was supposed to be a happy surprise was turning into an epic battle.
”I have never doubted your abilities. You are capable of so much more than people realize, but capability isn’t the point. You have done so much on your own. Built a life with Fiona when everything was against you. You’ve worked, built a career, proven yourself.”
Gideon’s brow furrowed, genuinely searching for understanding, but none of this made sense to him. He was supposed to be the provider. It was his job.
”You have done more than most ever achieve in a lifetime, but you’re not alone anymore. You have me.” He took a slow breath, trying to calm his anxiety. ”I was raised to believe a husband’s first priority was to provide for his family. And I can. I can give you a comfortable home. I can give our children every chance at a happy future. I can make sure that you never have to worry about where the next galleon is coming from."
His jaw tightened. ”Please forgive me for thinking that was a good thing.”
He was getting worked up. The last thing he wanted was to say something in anger. This was supposed to be the happiest time of their life, and suddenly things had taken on a negative tone.
”Of course I want you to be happy. I want that more than anything on the planet. But I also don’t understand why raising our children would make you unhappy.”
His gaze drifted to her stomach. A life so precious he would burn down the world to protect them. Then his eyes caught on the house just down the road. A small three bedroom cottage that he thought would bring her joy. Everything about this surprise had failed.
”I know your job is important to you. Your students, your house. You have built something amazing at Hogwarts. Forgive me for thinking this would be the start of building something great for our family.”
Rose was already on the very edge of her composure. The mixture of hormones and stress was dangerous, and as her husband spoke, she felt her resolve beginning to harden. Nothing he said was with malicious intent, she knew that.
She also knew, without a doubt, that with Gideon Blackwood by her side she really didn’t have to worry about money anymore. She didn’t have to worry about anything because she didn't just have him, she had his whole family. It was extensive, and they meant so much to her especially since she didn’t have her own family behind her. She’d felt alone for so long.
“...But I also don’t understand why raising our children would make you unhappy.”
Rose went still. She hardly even breathed for a moment after he said this. She was gazing at her stomach, speaking still, but nothing else made it to her. All she could think about was how she felt when she looked at her son, Evander. She was still in his life, of course, but she didn’t feel like she really belonged. Julia had essentially become his mother figure and Rose… well, she didn’t think she mattered anymore.
Gideon knew how she felt about that. And yet those words, implying that her children weren’t enough to make her happy, that felt like a knife to the heart.
“That is not what I said,” she responded, her voice quiet but with an edge that hadn’t been there before. “I did not say raising our children would make me unhappy. Do not put words in my mouth, Gideon.”
Rose felt shaky. She looked at her husband with a hardness she’d not used before. Her eyes narrowed slightly. She took a breath and placed her hand on her bump, aware of everything around them and the realtor waiting somewhere with a list of cottages for them. And none of it mattered.
“I already have a child that I handed to his father because I thought it was what was best for him.” Rose’s voice was cold. “I already know what it feels like to love someone and still not be enough. So do not stand there and suggest that I don’t want to be a mother to our children. That is not what this is.”
Rose’s eyes, despite the harshness of her voice, were a brighter blue because of the tears she was now holding back.
“What this is, is that you made a decision about my life without asking me. And I am telling you now… I need my work. Not because I don’t want our family. Because I –”
Rose’s voice hitched. She shook her head, the icyness breaking. “I don’t know who I am without it.”
The admission was not something she had expected. She wiped at her face, even though the tears had yet to begin their trip down her face. She sniffled. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I can’t do this.”
Gideon was silent. It wasn’t often that he was without words, unless by choice. But in this instance, he honestly had no idea what to say to make this situation better.
As Rose talked about her children, giving up Evander and the pain that it caused, his heart constricted in his chest. He was causing his wife pain. His job was to take away her pain and grief, not cause more.
As a husband, he was failing. Yet, in his idea of what a husband should be, this was it. Provide, protect, love, cherish. Apparently he did not have the same definition as his wife. His jaw tightened as he watched Rose wipe at her tear filled eyes. "I don't know who I am without it."
Her words echoed in his mind. For Gideon, work had never been his identity. Duty, responsibility, purpose. Part of what was expected as a Blackwood, but never who he was. ”Rose, I didn’t do this to change you, or take something from you. I thought this was what any good husband would do. My father provided for my mother. Wesley with Catrin.”
His voice came out quieter. Unsure. He had no idea what to do or say to make this right. Or even if, after everything he had said, he could make it right. He owed her an explanation, not an excuse. "It never occurred to me that there was another way. I know that’s short sided of me, just look at Julia. I wasn’t trying to decide your future Rose, I thought… well, I thought I was giving you one.”
Gideon walked away a few steps, his hand going to the back of his neck rubbing up and down. The agitation was clear. Turning back towards Rose, his gaze settled on her growing baby bump, then lifted to her face and ended on her eyes. ”I didn’t think this would be the part we would argue over. The number of bedrooms, bathrooms, the size of the garden maybe. But this?”
Silence settled over them long enough for the sounds of Hogsmeade to reach their ears.
Her eyes avoided his, obviously still upset. Walking up to her, taking her hands in his, Gideon held on tight, not wanting her to pull away. ”I won’t force you to resign. This obviously means a lot to you, but I need to ask you to understand something. I would never force you to do anything Rose. I truly thought you would want this. When I picture our family…”
He once again glanced at the baby growing, his hand landed on her belly, smiling when he felt a kick. The little one didn’t like that they were fighting.
"...I picture you with them. Not because I think you can’t do more, but because I know you can do everything you set your mind to. You are everything.”
Taking his hand off their growing baby, Gideon ran his hand over her jaw and back to cradle her neck. Lifting her face to his, eyes meeting he quietly whispered. ”I’m sorry. We will figure this out. Together.”
Pulling her close, he kissed her on the temple, hoping he hadn’t ruined everything.
Everything that Gideon said made sense. Roisin knew that he hadn’t meant anything cruel – he wasn’t a cruel person. But the life that his mother had, that Catrin had, wasn’t the life that she ever wanted. Perhaps when she was a child, before her father betrayed her mother and then kicked her out, but now that she had spent all of her adult life as a single mother… Well, she didn’t see that for herself anymore.
Eventually she would retire, and then she would happily become the wife that Gideon clearly expected her to be. Until then though she wanted to continue working. She was proud of everything she had accomplished.
She remained silent as she listened to him speak, her heart sad. And in pain. She didn’t like to think about these things – giving Evander over to Maddox because she knew the boy’s father was better for him than she was. And now she was basically nothing to the child, who seemed to prefer Julia to her.
Not that she could blame him.
Gideon took her hands in his and she looked into his eyes – the blue oceans she had grown to find comfort in. There was nothing cruel there. There was passion and love and concern.
“...When I picture our family… I picture you with them. Not because I think you can’t do more, but because I know you can do everything you set your mind to. You are everything.”
Rose sighed, not saying anything. Her eyes were still bright with the tears that wanted to come, but she wouldn’t let them. He ran his hand over her jaw and then cradled her neck gently.
”I’m sorry. We will figure this out. Together.”
She sighed again once he pulled her closer, kissing her on her temple. She didn’t pull away but she didn’t soften immediately either. She closed her eyes, trying to breathe out the frustration she was feeling. It wasn’t working.
She believed him though and that was the hardest part. Rose wanted to be mad, because it was easier than the alternative. Instead, she was stuck facing the conflict.
“I know,” she finally said, quietly. “I know you weren't trying to take something from me.”
But she couldn’t just leave it. He’d hurt her. She’d been battling the guilt that came with Evander and the decisions she’d made there for well over a year. And he’d brought it up, making her feel the exact same way.
“What you said – about the children.” She shook her head slightly. “That one is going to take me a minute, Gid. I need you to know that.”
Rose frowned, sadness crossing her face. She could forgive him – would forgive him – but first she had to process how she was feeling. Having her husband, even accidentally and without meaning to, poke at that particular wound was going to sit with her for a while.
She closed her eyes again and leaned into him, her forehead finding his chest.
“I want the cottage,” she murmured pathetically. The tears won. They were rolling down her cheeks. “I want our family close to you. I just also want to still be me.”
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