The message from Benji had been cryptic but direct. Meet him at Arundel around 1:00 in the afternoon. He'd explain then.
Her cousin had never been one for schemes - at least not in the way that ever saw him recruiting her help. Benji and Rosalie had learned each other's quirks, likes and dislikes fairly early on in their meeting, and while they could certainly tolerate - and even love - each other at this point, there were still aspects of their life they didn't let the other in on.
Why he was being so shifty and odd about what should have been a simple meetup, she didn't know. It wasn't like she wasn't allowed at Arundel, and it wasn't as though she were a prisoner in the McCormick home. She came and went as she pleased, always giving Cassian the respectful heads-up of where she was going and when she'd return.
Arundel was one of those places she knew he'd never accompany her. Too much had transpired, and the estate itself stood as a reminder to all it had tried to take from him.
Rosalie understood. But while she'd only returned to the castle a time or two since they'd run away, Arundel still felt like home. It was the place she'd been raised. The gardens were her quiet sanctuary where she'd made imaginary friends and went on grand adventures with them. The meadow was the place where Noir carried her to make-believe places of fantasy, wind whipping through her hair as the seemingly slow horse raced across the grass. The old stablemaster's cottage had once been her playhouse, converted for her by her late uncle.
And while the castle held horrific memories and stains of all the trauma she'd endured, it was also her foundation, her load-bearing walls. It had built her into the girl she'd needed to be to survive all she had.
He was nowhere to be found. Rosalie rolled her eyes as she flopped back into the grassy meadow, her golden locks splayed around her while her simple blue dress gathered messy and wrinkled around her knees. She'd meant to iron, but it was only Benji, and the boy surprised everyone when he adorned himself with appropriate clothes at all.
She sighed as she stared up at the sky, watching soft white clouds change formation. She laid there, pondering all that had transpired and how, for the first time, she felt truly at peace in her family home -
"It doesn't matter that we're late, Eira! She's not bloody going anywhere. Just shut up!"
Hmm? Rosie's head lolled to the side, following the sound of Benji's voice. Eira? Had she heard correctly? No, Benji would have told her if this was the day he'd be bringing her best friend to see her. The boy was always prouder of himself than he should be. Rosalie sat up on her elbows, her eyes squinting as two figures walked down the small hill, hurrying across the meadow towards her.
Wait.
Rosalie scrambled to her feet, as long golden waves came into view. A soft sound erupted from her throat as her expression softened and her heart leapt, almost terrified to believe what she was seeing. She took a step towards them as Benji waved his arms wildly, his annoyance palpable as he moaned about something or other.
She didn't hear him. Rosie's eyes were for the girl at his side. The girl that she hadn't seen for three years now.
Her best friend.
Her feet were moving before she knew it, sprinting in their efforts to get her to the girl before another second was wasted. Her arms sprang forward, catching her friend before she'd fully stopped moving, and pulled her into a tight hug.
A sob fell from her lips as she clung to her friend, needing a moment to process that she was real, and here, before she'd be able to manage any words.
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
She wanted to throttle him.
After he had made her wait for over two more weeks, eighteen days during which she had grown more agitated and fidgety by the day, drawing sceptical looks all around, now he was also being late.
“You are insufferable, we’re fucking late!” Their feet landed with soft thuds on lush grass, a breeze catching the loose strands of hair around her face. Huffing, Liliya let go off Benji’s arm.
"It doesn't matter that we're late, Eira! She's not bloody going anywhere. Just shut up!"
Liliya refrained from grabbing him by the throat. “You really don’t get it, do you?”, she snapped, walking next to him as they made their way down the hill. “I only have so much time and you’re taking it away from me! Because you’re fucking late!” As if finding a window of time hadn’t been hard enough on its own. Now she had to watch her precious time dwindle away because of Benji’s incompetence, that creeping worry always at the back of her mind.
Not to mention the constant stream of adrenaline that had been rushing through her system since their meeting in Knockturn Alley, controlling her every waking moment, driving her insane. It had grown almost unbearable over the past couple days; yesterday she had thought she might explode from how intensely it had ached.
Always scared to be found out, always pining for the day to finally come.
And Benji had the audacity to be annoyed with her.
Growling, they continued their bickering, hurrying down the hill until Benji’s arms rose to wave into the distance, finally redirecting her attention — away from his face and towards the small figure up ahead, blonde hair faintly stirring.
Liliya slowed as everything stilled for a moment, heart dropping. All composure that she had so desperately upheld since they'd left the country, a façade for sheer survival, crumbled into a heap of dust like the pretence it had always been. Leaving behind only the raw, open wound still bleeding from a cut made years ago.
She was running before she knew it, breath sharp in her throat as the first sob began to slip free.
She crashed into her friend with the impact of three years of absence. Her arms wrapped around Rosie like she was scared that if she didn’t hold on tight enough she might be taken away from her again, eyes squeezed shut against the weight of years of buried sorrow breaking free. Three years of fighting life alone, Rosie and Eira, and it felt like the world might start turning the right way again.
For a while that was all she did, clinging to her friend, barely able to stay upright. “I missed you,” she said through shaky breaths, not daring to ease away. "I'm sorry."
“I missed you. I'm sorry."
She couldn't let go.
Three years. For Rosalie, who had only just turned eighteen, it was a unfathomable chunk of her young life that she'd had to navigate without the girl who had felt more like a sister than a friend. Eira had been Rosie's first real touch of softness at Hogwarts, and her first real experience with girlhood and the friendship that came with that. Surrounded by boys, Eira had taught her the value in quiet confidences and being understood by another girl before words could ever be formed.
So many nights were spent talking into the wee hours of the morning. About life, their families, boys, and all the dreams they had that they both knew would never come true. Eira had taught Rosalie some of her hardest lessons, but more importantly, lessons in forgiveness, grace and belonging.
The absence of that love had marked a dark spot in her heart, but their bond had never been broken. Feeling Eira's arms around her, holding as tightly as hers did, soothed that spot, a soft healing balm over the ache of losing her.
"I love you so much," Rosie said softly, finally releasing her friend only slightly so she could ease back to look at her. She laughed through her tears, realizing what a mess both of them looked. "Look at us. Crying like a couple of..." Her eyes turned slightly, realizing Benji was still standing there, looking like he didn't know what to do. She squeezed Eira's arms before turning to her cousin and planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Thank you," she said, and nodded him back towards the castle. "Give us just a little while, okay?" Benji nodded, his surly expression having melted away as he smirked at Eira and turned to head back up. He said something under his breath, but Rosie was too busy taking her friend by the hand and pulling her down into the grass with her.
"I can't believe you're here," she breathed, when they'd settled themselves, her hand never releasing Eira's. "It feels like...a lifetime since I've seen you." That summer right after fifth year, at this very castle. It was the last time she had ever laid eyes on her friend, heard her laugh, or seen that devious little spark in her eye.
It had torn her heart apart, little by little, having life take its toll without Eira there to share it all with. "How have you been? Tell me everything?"
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
"I love you so much.”
Her arms around Rosie squeezed a little tighter.
Rosie had been the first person to ever truly accept her as she was, maybe the only person. Someone who hadn’t run from her sharp pragmatism, the walls built around her soul, the armour she used it for. The hidden softness beneath. Rosie was the only person who had stayed despite how hard it was to love her, whose presence and gentleness had slowly allowed Liliya to be open and tender around another like she had never been before or since. Rosie was her safe haven, her home. The only place she truly felt at peace. Leaving that behind had torn something in two, a missing piece of an unbreakable tie.
Hearing those words healed something over again, something that had been further broken over the past years.
When they eased back, Liliya smiled a sobby laugh alongside Rosie. Eira? Liliya? The lines seemed to blur again.
Wiping the heels of her hand against her cheeks, she noted Benji’s smirk but didn’t react. She was too busy with the overwhelming tide of emotions flowing through her to give him the proper kick he deserved. Maybe she’d do that later. For now, her mind was preoccupied with more important things.
Rosie pulled her by the hand and she willingly sank down into the grass next to her friend, fingers intertwined between them. Her head felt strangely light.
"I can't believe you're here. It feels like...a lifetime since I've seen you."
It really did. All the things that had happened. Looking back, it seemed too much for so little time, too crammed to fit into two years. Had it really only been two years? Things had been so much easier then, before they’d left Britain. Before everything had changed. Just them two, talking about boys and future life with the naivety of schoolgirl dreaming, oblivious to what cruelty awaited them.
"How have you been? Tell me everything?”
“I’ve been…alright.” A small smile twitched over her lips, gaze dropping away for a moment. Where was she supposed to start? What could she say? It all seemed so heavy.
With a quiet sigh she looked back up. “A lot has happened. I’ve been…adjusting. I finished school at Durmstrang and we moved back here a few weeks later. Nadežda is teaching me Legilimency, taking me along for business things and stuff. It’s fun but it’s hard. She expects a lot.”
She decided leaving out the part where she continuously fucked up and got punished for it was for the better for now.
For a second she got lost in thought, absentmindedly taking in every detail of Rosie’s face, even prettier than she remembered, until —
“Oh! Guess who the fuck they betrothed me to!” She didn’t wait for a response. “Lev! Remember? The pretty cousin?” She shook her head, scoffing. “I can’t believe that actually happened.”
Just like that, it felt like being pulled back in time. Into their dorm, into one of their beds. Blanket pulled up to their shoulders, curtains drawn. Only fleetingly though. Reality was too real to forget so easily.
Smile dimming a little, Eira searched Rosie's eyes. “How are you?”, she asked. “You and Cass. Are you doing okay?"
For Rosalie, it was easy to love Eira.
She didn't see someone who was broken or damaged or rough around the edges. Rosalie didn't look at Eira and see the outward ice and aloofness she approached the world with. Rather, she'd always seen strength, character and a ferocity of spirit that wouldn't be dimmed by anyone or anything. She saw a girl - now woman - that she admired in every possible way. Gritty, outspoken and ruthless in the ways Rosalie only wished she could sometimes be.
And even beneath that, there was a heart that Rosie knew had been battered and bruised to the point Eira hid it away, protecting it behind walls to ensure no one else could damage it. A heart that she allowed the privilege to only a few in seeing, and even fewer, feeling. A heart that loved, even when she led with ice.
Ice that had grown from immense hurt.
“I’ve been…alright.”
Rosie's eyes remained on Eira, her heart swelling as they held one another's hands, hardly believing they were finally together.
“A lot has happened. I’ve been…adjusting. I finished school at Durmstrang and we moved back here a few weeks later. Nadežda is teaching me Legilimency, taking me along for business things and stuff. It’s fun but it’s hard. She expects a lot.”
Rosie's smile grew, but concern lingered in her eyes. Adjusting? For a moment, she wanted to ask, but the sharp poke burned briefly in her stomach told her she already knew. Whatever adjustments Eira had had to make were likely harsh. Weren't they always in families like theirs? Being taken from Hogwarts had to have been difficult enough. Her friend wasn't the extroverted type and had never made friends easily. Boyfriends...yes, but what pretty girl didn't?
Friends were a different story. "Legilimency. That sounds pretty intense," she said. Did that mean Eira could read her mind now if she wanted to? Could she see everything Rosie had experienced, or even pry into her darkest thoughts? Would she be able to see the rage Rosalie had wielded for far too long and the horrible things it had made her do and condone? She didn't think...she could stomach it if Eira knew.
“Oh! Guess who the fuck they betrothed me to!”
Light returned to Rosie's eyes as her eyebrows raised, her lips pursing together in anticipation. As long as it wasn't someone that either of them despised, she'd be thrilled. Rosie couldn't imagine going the rest of her life having to play nice with one of the limp-wristed pureblooded boys they'd gone to school with.
“Lev! Remember? The pretty cousin? I can’t believe that actually happened.”
"Oooh," Rosie cooed, her eyes sparkling with mischief, "Is he still really pretty? How are you two getting along? You like him, right?" Rosalie hadn't been arranged but she suspected she had been close to it when her father introduced her to that Bulgarian man twice her age. Hopefully Eira had been luckier in that aspect. If anything she'd seemed excited when they'd first talked about him. "When are you getting married?" Her eyes dropped to Eira's hand, her brow furrowing slightly. "And where's your ring?"
Surely Lev wasn't the sort of rich boy who didn't believe in jewelry. There were plenty of them, but she couldn't imagine the Zdravkovas tutted at ostentatious displays.
“How are you? You and Cass. Are you doing okay?"
It was Rosie's turn to let her gaze drift upwards, swallowing hard as she blinked into the sunshine that blinded her for a moment. "No," she said honestly, her fingers tightening slightly around Eira's. Where did she even start? What did she say, and what did she leave out? There were things...awful things...that Rosalie knew she could never tell even her best friend. Things she'd have to take to the grave to protect Cassian - and herself.
She'd have to tread carefully. It was the smallest change, but one that hurt. It was the first deviance from the way the two girls used to be.
"We've had a really hard year. Couple of years I guess, depending on where you start looking." A small laugh that wasn't really a laugh escaped her lips, and she gave a small shrug. "I had a baby for a few months. I lost him before anyone could even tell I was pregnant." Her eyes slowly turned back to Eira. "I'm trying to be okay."
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
"Legilimency. That sounds pretty intense.”
Eira’s smile deepened to something a little more mischievous. “You don’t know the half of it,” she said with a light edge to her tone. “Leaves me with a raging headache every time. We’ve been trying to fix this girl’s mind at St. Mungo’s — she was one of those kidnapped girls in that tower thing a while back — and it’s a mess.” For a second she considered telling Rosie of the other kind of Legilimency Nadežda had been teaching her. The one that didn’t heal.
But she thought better of it. Many things had happened, many things had changed and she wasn’t sure Rosie would like that new part of her much. She didn't think she could bear the look in her eyes should she ever hear of just how far her studies were stretching.
Seeing the sparkle of girlish joy return to her friend’s eyes was a thousand times better anyway, reflecting within her own and bubbling inside her chest, a scheming sort of mischief. The power of gossiping. “Well, he is still pretty,” Eira relented, cocking her head. Good thing he couldn’t hear her. “But he’s kind of a dick. Likes to sit on his high horse and look down on me. Feels more like an overseer most times than a fiancé.”
She rolled her eyes, shrugging. “It could be worse though, I guess.” It could be someone like Oleg. The thought alone made her shudder inwardly. “We get…along?” Another shrug. “It’s fine. I don’t know when the wedding will me. Maybe next year.” Lifting their joined hands, Eira gave Rosie a meaningful look. “And he does not believe an jewellery or affections.”
Which might be for the better anyway. She wouldn’t even know what to do with any sort of positive attention from the man who’d only ever judged her as though she were an object.
She rested their hands back onto the grass, a sharp pain cutting straight to the bone when Rosie began to speak of herself. Her baby. Eira had already heard from Benji, at the ball, and that had been bad enough. Seeing the sorrow in Rosie’s eyes however was a million times worse. Her heart broke all over again.
Face crumbling, Eira wrapped herself around her friend, holding on tight. “I’m so sorry, Rosie,” she murmured, “I’m so, so sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say; what else was there? It was a hurt she couldn't fully understand but she knew nothing could soothe this, not really. All she could do was to be here and hope it was enough to help even a little.
Hoping Cassian would do the same.
She untangled herself after a moment, hands still joined, trying to smile. “I’ll be here whenever you want me to.” Her free hand lifted to brush a strand of hair from Rosie’s forehead. “For whatever you like. Lev will just have to suck it up.” Which was kind of a lie because he didn’t even know she was here in the first place and definitely wouldn’t simply suck anything up but —
Semantics. She would simply have to make sure he didn’t find out. Or any of the others for that matter. A sudden thought struck.
Her eyes rounded in excitement. “Do you still have your friendship bracelet? Like the one you gave me the last time I was here? We can cast the Protean Charm on both of them. It’s faster than an owl or a Patronus. Then you can call me over anytime you feel like it.” And stupid Lev wouldn’t know.
"Everleigh?!" Rosie's eyes widened at Eira's admission, realizing it was either her or Maevie, and from what Rosalie knew from the aftermath of the carnival, Everleigh hadn't handled any of it well. Benji, forever lacking sensitivity, had begun calling her 'Nutterstone' when she'd shown up to classes talking to herself or staring off into nothing. Rosalie's empathy went further, understanding that what the three girls had experienced in that tower had been horrific. Rae never talked about it, but she didn't need to.
Maddox had killed Thayer for it.
She could still remember the sounds of poor little Maevie's screams.
"I - I didn't know she was there," she said softly. She had been on the same ward, and hadn't ever known. A mess, Eira called her mind. "What sort of mess...?" Not out of morbid curiosity, but because she and Cassian had been through something torturous as well, and she didn't want to think about where they could have - or still could - ended up. "You can see everything? All she experienced?"
With the momentary return to levity, Rosie managed a smile.
“Well, he is still pretty. But he’s kind of a dick. Likes to sit on his high horse and look down on me. Feels more like an overseer most times than a fiancé.”
The smile fell slightly, her hand tightening around her friend's. An overseer. A watcher. A keeper. Eira said they got along, which...small wins, Rosalie figured...but to live her life in such abject captivity. She'd already lived her entire childhood and teenage years under the thumbs of her controlling father and overbearing mother. To have that control then transferred to a man she felt nothing for but fear or resentment?
Rosalie would never say it out loud, lest she be thrown back in the Mungo's psych ward with Everleigh, but she'd throw herself off one of these towers before she'd ever let it happen. "But you're so beautiful," Rosalie said earnestly, her eyes softening as her cheek brushed the soft grass beneath them. "And you're funny." Her smile widened again, "And sassy. How could he not be affectionate or want to give you even a ring?" She sighed, turning her eyes up to the sky, determination crossing her features. She thought quietly for a moment, the wheels behind her eyes turning as she watched a few clouds overhead.
"Introduce me to him," she said finally, turning her gaze back to Eira with mischief shimmering in blue oceans, "I'll set him right for you. You'll have the most dazzling ring before Christmas." She'd read Lev for filth the moment she'd be able to. Would she have cared if Cassian hadn't given her a ring? Not at all, but that was different. When she and Cassian had ran it was with the understanding that all they had was each other. All they had was love.
In the absence of love, the least Lev Zdravkova could do was present Eira with something nice to wear. The brute.
But then Eira's arms were around her, and Rosie let herself sink into the warmth of her friend again. She hadn't brought up the baby to make her friend sad or pity her, but...he'd existed. He was important and mattered, and Eira was her closest friend. It mattered to Rosalie that Eira knew he had been there, no matter how short his little life was.
“I’m so sorry, Rosie. I’m so, so sorry.”
Rosie nodded as they pulled back. "Me too," she sighed. Since she was a little girl, being a mother had been Rosie's truest desire. Quidditch, college, some sort of job maybe - all of those were nice wishes that hadn't come true. But being a mother was the one thing she'd come closest to having. A little part of her that was all her own. A little person with nothing but love in his eyes, given to her and Cassian to raise into somebody special.
She knew eventually she'd have the opportunity to be a mum, but when, or if she'd ever feel secure enough to make that leap, she didn't know.
“I’ll be here whenever you want me to. For whatever you like. Lev will just have to suck it up.”
Rosie melted into the softness of Eira's touch, grateful for the gentleness of her friend that she'd craved for so long. "I'm here for you too. Anytime you need to escape, you can come to me. Promise." She didn't know how bad or good the Zdravkovas were to Eira. She hoped they were good to her, that they treated her well and didn't do what plenty of families like theirs did.
But even in fifth year, when they'd talked a little about it, Rosie knew Eira had had a lot riding on her shoulders.
At the mention of the bracelet, she rose her other hand, to show she was still wearing it. "Never took it off," she said. It sat just below her wedding ring and accompanied the locket along her neck. Three pieces of jewelry that signified the most important people to her. "You know how to do the charm?" she asked, sitting up quickly and pulling Eira with her. "I've never done it, I don't think. Where's yours at?"
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
"What sort of mess...? You can see everything? All she experienced?”
Eira smiled, shaking her head. “No,” she chuckled, “it’s not as easy as that. Not with her at least, Everleigh is different. We think something happened that ended up completely breaking her mind somehow, it’s all just flashes and broken pieces, nothing that lasts for more than a few seconds. It’s very hard to control, took me weeks to fully access her memories of the tower. Her brain doesn’t behave like a healthy one would.”
The mystery of Everleigh continued to keep herself and Nadežda busy, progress stalling. It had been frustrating to say the least, not managing to glean the parts of the girl’s brain she needed to access in order to even try and fix what had been shattered. But that was work and work was the last thing she wanted to think about right now.
Though Lev as the subject of their conversation also didn’t exactly make her heart jump with joy. The tension straining their relationship only seemed to grow with each passing day. She was avoiding him as much as she possibly could.
"But you're so beautiful," Rosie said and Eira’s smile turned a little sad. "And you're funny. And sassy. How could he not be affectionate or want to give you even a ring?”
Her gaze dropped away, watching the grass bend with the breeze. “Yeah, I don’t think he sees it like that,” she said, looking back up with a chuckle though it felt a little hollow. “I agree, but Lev isn’t the kind of man who’s into funny and sassy. More like subservient and stuck-up.”
She rolled her eyes, grinning slightly and brightening further when Rosie presented her plan. "Introduce me to him. I'll set him right for you. You'll have the most dazzling ring before Christmas."
Eira giggled, ignoring the nagging thought of doubt telling her that this would never happen. She was here in secret for a reason. But she saw no need in dampening the mood, instead indulging in this fantasy for the moment. “I’d love to see that. He’d be so embarrassed.”
Or so she hoped.
“He needs that.”
As Rosie pulled her upright to sit, Eira felt her heart warm a little, finding the bracelet still fastened around her friend’s wrist. There wasn’t much of that in her life anymore — or any at all, really. Seeing the little piece of jewellery that connected them back to the past, to when things had been okay still, and the fact that even years apart hadn’t changed a thing about their friendship made her want to cry all over again. Something happy when everything else always only seemed to hurt or break
"You know how to do the charm? I've never done it, I don't think. Where's yours at?”
Eira swallowed the sensation, letting Rosie’s excitement infect her. She shook her head, hands raising to dig underneath the bulk of her braid. “No, never done it either. But can’t be that hard.” After a moment she managed to find what she’d been looking for.
Presenting Rosie the pin she’d pulled free, Eira grinned brightly. “Here it is,” she said, pin pinched between thumb and forefinger. “I transfigured it. I didn’t want to risk them taking it away from me.”
She laid it flat on her palm, finding her wand with the other hand and tapping the pin once. Stretching and softening, it morphed into a perfect replica of Rosie’s bracelet. “Okay, give me yours.” Laying them next to each other in the grass, slightly overlapped, Eira concentrated. She felt the magic flow into the tips of her fingers, channelling through her wand until both bracelets glowed faintly, fading after a beat.
She handed one of them back. “Mine should warm if you tap yours with your wand. Or maybe focusing on it is enough, I’m not sure. Try.”
Rosie hummed her understanding - or as much as she could possess understanding - about what Eira did and what Everleigh's brain behaved like. It was interesting in a way, and had Rosalie wondering how a healthy brain did behave? What made it unhealthy? Everleigh had been through a terrible trauma in the tower, but Rosie had been through a lot too. Horrible things that she presumed could have torn her mind apart. Why didn't it? Would her brain behave normally?
"Eira...?" Her head turned back to her friend. "If I wanted you to maybe try on me...would it hurt?" She stared, her blue eyes full of questions as she squeezed her friend's hand a little tighter. "Can you make me forget things? Not like obliviate but...I don't know what I'm asking I guess." She didn't, not really. She didn't want to forget anything, and she was making strides and getting better but -
"Would you be able to see everything?"
“Yeah, I don’t think he sees it like that. I agree, but Lev isn’t the kind of man who’s into funny and sassy. More like subservient and stuck-up.”
Lev sounded like a buzzkill, as Benji would call it. Rosie didn't say it, but the sadness in Eira's smile ripped at her heart. Rosie wasn't a violent person - willingly - but for Eira she'd probably be willing to do some real harm. The girl had never liked the boys Eira had found herself entangled with, believing her friend was far too good for any of them, and she'd never understood why those boys - pompous and slacked-wrist - were even given the time of day. "Well," Rosie said, forcing a smile, "I guess he better start liking funny and sassy, if he's going to marry you. And I mean it. I'll embarrass him. I know how to talk to men like him."
All the men in her family had been men like him.
It was heartbreaking in a way, knowing someone like Eira who possessed the wild spirit that she did was being forced into something with a man who didn't seem to appreciate her for the gift she was. Rosie supposed if she hadn't run, she would have met the same fate.
Instead, she met a very different one. No less cruel, she supposed. But different.
Eira shook her head, retrieving a pin from her hair. "I transfigured it. I didn’t want to risk them taking it away from me.”
"They'd take your bracelet?" Rosie asked, tilting her head slightly to understand. Why? She'd given it to Eira the last time they'd seen each other. Here. Her aunt had seen it. It wasn't junk jewelry or anything flashy. Rosie's stomach turned over on itself again. While she'd been through the wringer in the last few years, she had a sneaking suspicion her best friend had too.
She handed her bracelet to Eira, watching as she laid both pieces together in the grass, casting the charm on them that had both glowing faintly for a moment.
“Mine should warm if you tap yours with your wand. Or maybe focusing on it is enough, I’m not sure. Try.”
"You know...you can use it if you need me too. I'll come whenever you call for me." She reached over, to take Eira firmly by the hand again. "I mean it." Her words were gentle but purposeful, wanting her friend to know what she implied. Night or day, if Eira needed her, Rosie would find a way to be there.
Turning back to her bracelet, she touched the tip of her wand to the jewelry. "Is it working?"
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
"Eira...? If I wanted you to maybe try on me...would it hurt?”
A soft frown replaced her smile, concern bunching her brows. “What…what do you mean? Try Legilimency on you? Why?” The weight of emotion swimming behind Rosie’s eyes, the squeeze of her hand — it was enough to reignite the worry for her friend.
"Can you make me forget things? Not like obliviate but...I don't know what I'm asking I guess. Would you be able to see everything?”
Her heart sank another inch, pain for the implications swinging in Rosie’s voice spreading throughout her chest. She probably knew of only a fraction of the things she and Cassian had gone through and the marks it must have left behind. She could understand it, the wish to forget, to erase so the memories would stop haunting and life could feel easier. There had been times often enough she had wished for that herself. Delete the first thirteen years of her life, her personality, so she could simply be the Zdravkova girl she was expected to be. Completely rewrite herself so the suffering could finally stop.
She doubted that was possible and she wasn’t sure it was the right thing for Rosie either. If she really wanted her to try, she would. She’d do anything for her. Still, the doubt remained.
After a moment she tried for the right words. “I don’t know Rosie," she said gently. "I’m not a full Legilimens yet, I’m still learning. I can only see what you’d allow me to see, unless I force my way in. And I would never do that. But I’m not sure about making you forget things. Or if that’s a good idea.”
She had a feeling Rosie might not really want to forget the things that happened at all, but rather the feelings attached to those events. It didn’t make the whole thing any less impactful however. She had no idea what the consequences to something like that would be.
Eira smiled softly, giving Rosie’s hand another squeeze. “It sounds more like a last resort kind of thing, doesn’t it?” It was a quiet reassurance that, yes — if Rosie really did want this, Eira would find a way. If it was the only thing to help her heal, Eira would do it. But not before she was one-hundred percent confident it was the only path left to walk. Nothing would be worse than damaging her friend in ways she presumed were likely irreversible. She would never forgive herself.
Rosie’s promise to embarrass Lev made her smile again though. “I know you could,” Eira said, desperately whishing for this scenario to come true one day. “I’d pay a million Galleons to see you do it.”
And a million more to see his face.
When Rosie asked about the bracelet, Eira had to pause a beat. She probably shouldn’t have said that. She didn’t want Rosie worrying about her while she had her own trauma to process still. But she also couldn’t lie, not outright. Aiming for casual, Eira smiled lightly, relenting a little of the truth.
“When we moved to Russia, they cut me off from everything that wasn’t them. It’s why I wasn’t allowed to write you letters, let alone visit. I think they really wanted to make sure I was focused on nothing but becoming one of them.” A shrug lifted her shoulders, a hint of sadness creeping into her voice. “That included keeping me away from you.”
Rolling her bracelet over her wrist, she banished the sadness and smiled a little wider. “But I made sure they couldn’t take this. And now it’s even better than before.”
"You know...you can use it if you need me too. I'll come whenever you call for me. I mean it."
The firmness in Rosie’s voice and grip, the gentle genuineness in her eyes spread a warmth through her body Eira had almost forgotten how to feel. She nodded, rushed by another wave of gratitude to finally have her friend back, smiling as she held onto Rosie’s hand as tightly as she did. Inseparable. “I know.”
When her bracelet started warming around her wrist, in answer to Rosie’s command to her own, Eira broke into a wide grin. “Yes!”, she beamed, flooded with excitement. When Rosie's answered in the same way, a sense of freedom returned, a feeling like they were back at Hogwarts in fourth year.
“Nothing can stop us now," she grinned at her friend, mischief glinting in her eyes.
“What…what do you mean? Try Legilimency on you? Why?”
Why would anyone want that? Rosie shrugged, half-hearted, forcing a smile back on her lips. She'd never had to pretend with Eira. Never had to fake smiles or fake being alright. So much had changed since the last time she'd seen her best friend, that she almost didn't know how she was supposed to be herself anymore. Could she be? Could she be the same Rosie that had hugged Eira goodbye that day so many years ago?
Maybe that was why. "I just...want to feel like the old me, you know?" She fussed with the ring on her finger, twisting it a bit back and forth. "And I don't know, Eira, that anything can do that. Or fix me or..." she trailed off letting her words die on the tip of her tongue.
“I don’t know Rosie. I’m not a full Legilimens yet, I’m still learning. I can only see what you’d allow me to see, unless I force my way in. And I would never do that. But I’m not sure about making you forget things. Or if that’s a good idea.”
"Yeah," Rosie gave a breath of a laugh dropping Eira's gaze to stare back out across the grounds, "I guess there's never any easy fix for the harder things, is there? Even with all this magic, pain doesn't just disappear or make you forget what you already know." And that was the crux of it all. Rosie didn't want to know the things she did. She didn't want to know how cruel the people around her could be, or how they could betray her without giving a real thought about it. She didn't want to hear Cassian's screams anymore, or see the blood that pooled beneath her on the mattress.
She wanted to go back to being fifteen with stars and dreams in her eyes, nothing but optimism and a zest for life living in her chest. Back when things felt easier and more difficult in a better way. Now, with everything that had transpired, how would Rosalie ever figure out who she was?
"I'm sorry," she smiled, happy when the conversation moved back to Eira and her future husband. "He sounds like a bit of a drag," she laughed. "But maybe he'll lighten up some, yeah? When the wedding's over?"
“When we moved to Russia, they cut me off from everything that wasn’t them. It’s why I wasn’t allowed to write you letters, let alone visit. I think they really wanted to make sure I was focused on nothing but becoming one of them. That included keeping me away from you.”
"Do you think it worked?" she asked gently, catching her friend's eye again. "Do you think you...became one of them? Is that what you want to be?" She didn't know Eira's family well enough to know if it was a good or bad thing, and only had the information her friend had given her. She remembered Eira's aunt and how stern she had seemed, even with James.
Was that how they all were? When Eira rolled the bracelet back onto her wrist, Rosie went quiet for a moment. They'd already promised to be there for one another at the drop of a pin - but what if Eira's family separated them again? What if they carted her back to Russia and locked her down, unwilling to let her even talk to her friend? Did they really want her broken and lacking spirit?
Rosie knew families like theirs. And sometimes...they did. Leo Laurence certainly had. Obedience was king, and nothing else mattered if it wasn't given. The smile on her friend's face spread a real one across her own, a hint of the two girls they used to be when they'd sit in the gardens at Hogwarts and scheme little plans together.
"Nothing," Rosie agreed, hooking her pinky around Eira's. "Ever again."
She'd do almost anything to ensure it.
Saturday, September 9, 1922
"The sun's warm," Rosie muttered, kicking off her sandals and hiking up the skirt of her dress a little higher on her thighs as she laid on the picnic blanket next to Eira. "Call it a last-ditch effort for a tan to carry me through the winter." She groaned as the thought of the cold dark months looming ahead settled on her. No days out laying in the garden at Arundel. No fussing outside in the backyard with Kari's flowers. No days spent on the beach or strolling through a warm park with the breeze in her hair.
Her head lolled to the side as she caught her friend's eye. "How did you manage to sneak out this time?" she asked. "Did Lev have very important business he needed to handle?" She grinned at her friend, a little sparkle beginning to return to blue eyes as she teased.
Her expression fell serious for only a moment. "You're not going to get in trouble are you?" She didn't think she could stand it if she knew Eira fell into trouble because of her.
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
"I just...want to feel like the old me, you know? And I don't know, Eira, that anything can do that. Or fix me or..."
Eira’s hand squeezed around Rosie’s another time, sympathy welling in her chest. She understood what Rosie meant, mourning a version of herself that didn’t exist anymore, wishing for something to fix the mess that was her head. Sometimes all she wanted was to go back in time, to before Nadežda and Lev and Russia, live like the orphan again and erase every bad memory. No money, no family — but freer. She rarely allowed herself the thought. It felt like something akin to treason, and God knew what might happen should her aunt ever stumble upon it. Lying here with her friend, however, made it easy to drift away into wishful thinking for a moment.
But they both knew reality.
“I guess there's never any easy fix for the harder things, is there? Even with all this magic, pain doesn't just disappear or make you forget what you already know.”
Eira smiled sadly. “Guess not,” she murmured, swallowing against the melancholy wanting to sneak to the surface. Her smile shifted into something more genuine as she kept her eyes on Rosie’s. “But we got each other now. And we’ll be okay.”
As long as she had her friend, Eira could stomach the rest.
Even Lev the drag.
"But maybe he'll lighten up some, yeah? When the wedding's over?” Rosie said, and Eira snorted, not exactly convinced and thinking about a future wedding sort of made her want to vomit. She’d rather talk about anything other than that right now, so she relented with a shrug and a grin. “Yeah, maybe.”
As the conversation turned back to her family, Eira grew quiet for a moment.
Had it worked? Was she one of them? Was it what she wanted to be? She didn’t have a clear answer to any of these questions, and that alone felt like betrayal — thoughts she shouldn’t pursue or entertain, the last question the one she should be able to answer at the least. Of course she wanted to be one of them. Anything less was unacceptable.
Eira shrugged half-heartedly, eyes to the grass. “I don’t know,” she finally said, another beat passing before she looked back up. “Does it matter what I want? I don’t think I’m there yet, but…maybe one day.”
But her smile ate away the sorrow in her face as Rosie’s pinkie wrapped around her own.
Because nothing could stop them ever again.
───────────────────────⋅☾ ☽⋅───────────────────────
Saturday, 9 September 1922
~10:30am~
───────────────⋅☾ ☽⋅───────────────
Eira hummed in response to Rosie’s words, sighing contentedly as she lay back on the blanket, arms stretched above her head, smiling against the sun. “Have fun,” she said, glancing at her friend’s exposed legs with a soft grin, keeping her own covered. “All I ever do is burn. Had to cover up some redness on my face after last time.” Lest someone asked stupid questions.
And yet, staying in the sun with her friend was too good to pass up. Things felt so much warmer here at Arundel than they did at Harewood House, almost like a different dimension where the gloomy clouds of reality couldn’t follow her to. A small paradise.
She hadn’t felt this at ease in years.
"How did you manage to sneak out this time?”
Her head tilted sideways, catching Rosie’s eye. With a grin, she squinted against the brightness. “He’s always very busy and very important,” she mocked, glad to finally have the opportunity to talk shit about her fiancé. “He is the heir, didn’t you know? He’s probably at the office or something, I don’t even care.”
Or maybe he was fucking his maid—
Eira’s eyes flew wide open, and she gasped, rolling sideways in excitement. She hadn’t even told Rosie about that!
"You're not going to get in trouble, are you?”
The sudden shift of Rosie’s mood and expression caught her off guard for a second, but Eira quickly recovered, waving a hand in dismissal. “Oh, no, don’t worry,” she lied smoothly, keeping her own worry carefully locked inside. “I’ll be fine — but Rosie! I forgot to tell you!”
Her eyes gleamed with amusement, one hand shooting out to grab her friend's arm, and she leaned a little closer. “He is fucking a maid!", she whispered as though this was the most hilarious news ever, and truly, it was. "I walked in on them a few weeks ago, just in time to find him buttoning up his trousers.” A graceless snort burst through her lips, her hand shooting up to cover her mouth as she stared at Rosie. The memory felt even funnier thinking back on it now.
“He’s always very busy and very important, He is the heir, didn’t you know?”
"Ooooh," Rosie teased, wiggling her fingers to show how very impressed she was that very important, very busy Lev Zdravkova was the heir. "How dare I question his schedule? He has very serious heir things to do." She grinned widely at her friend, breaking out into a laugh as she let her hands fall back into the grass, tracing the blades with her fingertips.
After Eira had let her in on what a buzzkill her fiance was, Rosalie had decided all bets were off. That man could catch all of her snark that she'd been apparently saving up for the better part of two years. It was only with Eira - and occasionally Maggie - that this side of her came out, and she relished it every time. When she could just be a girl, and make fun of boys and rage against the world that told the both of them they were never enough.
Nearby, Fawn played near their feet, the little baby rolling around in the wildflowers like she'd only just discovered they existed. Every now and then she stopped to chomp down on a blossom, before resuming her play again. The normally shy creature seemed at ease around Eira, or at least indifferent enough not to remain invisible through the entire visit.
“Oh, no, don’t worry. I’ll be fine — but Rosie! I forgot to tell you!”
Her friend sailed right by her concern, excitement glistening behind blue eyes as curiosity crept into Rosie's. She'd circle back to how 'fine' Eira would be, after she heard whatever salaciousness the girl had to tell her. She rolled to her side, eyes trained on Eira's as an intrigued smile already played across her lips.
Whatever it was, was going to be good.
“He is fucking a maid!"
Rosie's expression immediately fell, her brow furrowing in disbelief. "What?!" she asked, not finding this nearly as amusing as Eira apparently did. Her fiance...was sleeping with a maid? Another girl? While engaged to Rosie's best friend?!
"I walked in on them a few weeks ago, just in time to find him buttoning up his trousers.”
"Is he stupid?!" she nearly shouted, but when Eira snorted and began laughing again, Rosie's incredulity turned more humorous again. "No really, is he? Eira...do we need to kill him or something?" She'd killed before. Wasn't proud of it. In fact, she was rather horrified by it all, but they weren't discussing that, nor would they.
At the moment anyway. The moment of horror turned levity caught her by the stomach, returning Eira's laugh with a ridiculous one of her own. "You saw him? Like...all of it? What about the harpy he was with? Does she have no shame?" What kind of girl slept with another girl's boyfriend. Fiance. Whatever that trout of a man was supposed to be?
"You're not sleeping with him are you?" she groaned and flopped herself back on her back. "Let's get a shovel from the stable. We'll make quick work of him."
A joke. Probably.
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
"What?! Is he stupid?!” Rosie’s incredulity only made her laugh the more, belly aching as she flopped onto her back. “No really, is he? Eira...do we need to kill him or something?”
Eira shook her head, trying to catch her breath. “No,” she managed as she finally calmed down, “it’s not worth the trouble. I don’t care what he does as long as he leaves me alone.” She supposed she could be grateful for that in the least, the fact he didn’t force himself on her as she had at first expected he might. Although that was likely to change the moment they were married.
She would rather not think about that. She was well aware of what her duties would entail, and until the day came, Eira did well to ignore most of it. The thought alone sent a shiver down her spine.
"You saw him? Like...all of it? What about the harpy he was with? Does she have no shame?”
Her eyes briefly drifted to the little creature tolling through the grass by their feet, smiling slightly before she went back to trailing the wisps of cloud passing by above. A content smile lingered as she lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “I guess not. Probably hopes for some romantic love story.” Pausing, her tone took on a mockingly mystic tone, hands moving in a half-arch above her face, fingers wiggling as though she was introducing the title of a great story. “The heir and the maid.” Another snort and she shook her head.
“She looks like the dumb sort though, so I can’t really blame her.” Opportunists were found in every layer of society, she supposed. Who could fault her for trying? Kind of a fruitless approach though. Eira doubted Lev held the capability to feel anything beyond self-admiration and haughtiness. But that wasn't her problem to deal with.
Closing her eyes, Eira focused on the breeze brushing against her face. “I didn’t see them see them,” she continued. “They were already done —” She banished the image plopping up in her head. Yuck. “— but it was obvious enough what happened.”
"You're not sleeping with him are you?"
Eira snorted, glancing sideways. “Ew, Rosie, please. Of course not. That man is bone dry. I wouldn’t touch that with a ten-foot pole. He probably sleeps in his little heir uniform; sometimes I’m not even sure he’s human.” He definitely didn't act like it.
"Let's get a shovel from the stable. We'll make quick work of him.”
A long sigh hummed through her chest, and Eira blinked over at Rosie. “Hmm, no, let’s let him live,” she mused idly. “It’s entertaining to see him annoyed. Actually, I should find someone to entertain me too, to make it even, you know. Then see the look on his face when he finds out.” Another giggle widened her smile. Would he care? Maybe not. But that wasn't the point anyway. The point had long shifted to simply doing whatever the hell she wanted behind his back, delighting in the joy of his cluelessness.
“No, it’s not worth the trouble. I don’t care what he does as long as he leaves me alone.”
Rosie grew quiet, the anger she felt for her friend bubbling within her stomach and rising into her chest. Whether Eira meant what she said about Lev being allowed to do whatever he want, she didn't quite buy it. Regardless of whether there was romantic love there or not - he was her fiancé. It was his job to be loyal to Eira and protect her heart and,,,
Would she have felt the same if it were the Bulgarian man? If she had been married off to him, would she have been happy to let him philander and run around behind her back if it meant he didn't touch her and left her alone? Rosie thought she probably would have. She'd never wanted anyone but Cassian touching her in that way. She could understand why Eira wouldn't want someone she disliked bothering her either.
“I guess not. Probably hopes for some romantic love story. The heir and the maid. She looks like the dumb sort though, so I can’t really blame her.”
Rosalie wasn't of the same mind that two people from vastly different backgrounds couldn't have some incredible love story. She and Cassian were proof of that, but she also wasn't naïve anymore. Rosie knew she was an anomaly in their circles. Most girls - and boys for that matter - of their status wouldn't surrender their heart, much less their entire life, for someone who didn't 'belong'. The maid was foolish, not just for any fantasies she had, but for messing around with an almost-married man.
But she supposed that made Lev foolish as well. He should know better too.
“I didn’t see them see them. They were already done but it was obvious enough what happened.”
"Ugh. I'm sorry you had to see that," she said quietly shaking her head. She couldn't imagine walking in on Cass and some other girl in a similar predicament. The way it would shatter her heart. The anger she would feel. "He's an idiot. He'll feel like it too when he knocks her up. Merlin forbid." She rolled her eyes, just thinking about it.
Why were men so short-sighted sometimes?
“Ew, Rosie, please. Of course not. That man is bone dry. I wouldn’t touch that with a ten-foot pole. He probably sleeps in his little heir uniform; sometimes I’m not even sure he’s human.”
It caused a roar of laughter to rise out of her throat. Rosie gripped her sides as the amusement poured out of her, imagining some hoity-toity very serious man sleeping like a plank in his bed, all buttoned up and proper. Not a snore. No mouth-breathing. Just all very put together and acceptable. "Do you think -" she giggled, trying to catch her breath "- that he dreams about Russian flags and the military and being told what a perfect son of Russia he is?" Another round of laughter that brought tears to her eyes.
It took her a moment to catch her breath, her fingers tracing the grass as Fawn climbed up her chest, nestling herself in a little ball right over Rosie's heart. She ran a hand over the demiguise, stroking her soft fur as she stared up at the sky. "Lev lives to see another day," Rosie lamented, a smile playing on her lips as her head lolled back to look at Eira.
She shrugged a bit. Cheating was never something she would do, even if Cassian fooled around on her first, but she supposed it was different. They were married. They were in love. It wasn't in her to do something like that, knowing how much it would hurt not only him, but her.
Eira and Lev seemed to despise one another, and they certainly weren't in any sort of relationship of their own accord. It all seemed to be what their family wanted, rather than what either of them had chosen for themselves. Her friend deserved a little levity and fun in her life. "James has a new stable boy," she said, her lips curling into a grin. "He's rather good-looking. Athletic. If that's the kind of fun you're looking for." She laughed, scooping up Fawn into her arm, and taking Eira by the hand.
"See?" Rosie said, peering around the hedges towards the stable, watching as Alec pitched clean hay from a large pile into a few of the outdoor pens. He wasn't incredibly tall. Maybe a few inches taller than Rosie. Dark haired. Handsome features. Spanish maybe. She'd thought she'd heard an accent the other day when he was saddling up Adira's pony for Edith.
Eira leaned over Rosie's shoulder as Fawn chittered, curling herself around the girl's neck. "Told you he was cute. He looks just your type too. Dark and sad and moody." She grinned at Eira, giving her a little wink. "Need me to introduce you?"
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
"Ugh. I'm sorry you had to see that. He's an idiot. He'll feel like it too when he knocks her up. Merlin forbid.”
Eira shrugged, glancing around. Could she have done without witnessing her fiancé in such a tasteless manner? Definitely. Had it worked wonders on her perception of him, however, freeing her of the shackles that had been his judgement of her? Also yes. In a way, that incident had worked in her favour more effectively than his approval ever could have. Because now she didn’t care anymore, unplagued. It was quite nice.
“It’s fine,” she said, chuckling. “At least they were done already. And I don’t think he’d care if he knocked her up. He’d just find another maid to replace her with.” To Lev, she was certain, it wouldn’t be more than a minor inconvenience, quickly taken care of and resolved before the hour was out.
As Rosie broke into laughter, Eira couldn’t help but join, the image of Lev sleeping like a statue coming to vivid life. When Rosie added her own suspicions about the man’s questionable inner life, Eira lost all control, doubling over as her belly began to ache from joy. “Russian flags,” she gasped, eyes tearing, “the military, and riding bears through the snow.” That mental image was even better than the one before, making her laugh all the harder.
Catching her breath, Eira came to rest flat on her back again, smiling up at the sky.
"Lev lives to see another day,” Rosie said, and letting her head roll sideways too, Eira met her friend’s eyes, chuckling again. “We’ll save the idea for later,” she returned, watching the demiguise for a moment. Maybe she should get a pet, too. A cat, perhaps. That’d be nice. Something friendly to cling to when Harewood House grew too suffocating and dark.
Would they let her?
“James has a new stable boy." Rosie’s voice, laced with mischief, swept the daydream from her mind. Her own lips curled to match her friend’s smile. "He's rather good-looking. Athletic. If that's the kind of fun you're looking for."
Was it? She hadn’t actually, truly, considered it, an affair. She didn’t need it, not really. She had herself, and that was satisfying enough, the relief of being left alone stronger than her desire for physical — let alone emotional — affection. She’d given up that hope a long, long time ago, still a student at Hogwarts. It simply wouldn’t exist in her life anymore, and that was that. Accepting that reality had been painful at first, like ripping part of her heart straight through her chest, but the feeling had faded. Numbed.
Starting an affair just to get one over on Lev, however? Another thing he didn’t know and couldn’t control, hers alone, a piece of her life he didn’t own?
Yes. That, she was looking for, and she would take it.
When Rosie pulled her up by the hand, Eira was already burning with chaos.
"See?”
Eira peered over Rosie’s shoulder, around the hedge and towards the young man working a little way over, oblivious to the two girls ogling him from afar. A giggle fell from her grinning lips. “He really is rather pretty,” she muttered, craning her neck to get a better look. “Wish we had such pretty stable boys, but alas. Oleg seems to like the old and hunchbacked grandpas more.”
"Told you he was cute. He looks just your type too. Dark and sad and moody.” Eira playfully nudged her elbow into Rosie’s side, shaking her head. “They’re interesting, okay? Not my fault I don’t like the vanilla guys.”
Biting her lip, she contemplated for a mere breath before nodding, eyes twinkling into Rosie’s. “Yes,” she said with a wicked grin. “Introduce me to your hot, moody stable boy. Time to have some fun again.”
“They’re interesting, okay? Not my fault I don’t like the vanilla guys.”
Rosie supposed Eira didn't like what she called 'vanilla guys', no. While they had had somewhat similar taste in boys when they were younger, their preferences had certainly veered off in opposite directions. While Rosalie would never place Cassian in the 'vanilla' category - he was far more whimsical and artistic than that - she could admit she liked people that were more down-to-earth. Humble. Easy going with a more positive outlook on the world.
Case in point being the two months she'd spent with Maddox and Julia. Watching them in their every day, humble little life with their family, going about things in a completely normal way had made Rosie certain it was what she had wanted too. Castles, palaces, wealth, luxury...those were things she'd had and they'd always felt like a cage.
The men and boys that wielded them? Even worse.
"Interesting and riveting as a funeral." She grinned at Eira, before the girls turned their attention back to Alec, watching jim fling another rake-full of hay into one of the stalls. Rosie tilted her head slightly. "I haven't actually talked to him. Who knows, maybe he'll have something more interesting to talk about than himself." She smiled widely, taking Eira by the hand when she agreed to an introduction.
Good. It was time her friend had a little fun in her life. Not everything had to be serious and final.
"Alec?" she called out sweetly, her smile softening when the stable boy turned to see the two girls approaching. He immediately stopped his work, giving a slight bow of his head. "Lady Rosalie," he said, his Spanish accent thick, rolling the 'r' in her name. When his gaze rose again, he set his rake down against the stall. "Should I saddle Noire for you?" His eyes flicked to Eira for a moment, the slightest smile curling at the corners of his lips, before turning back to Rosie expectantly.
"No, actually. Thank you. I wanted to introduce you to my friend. Eira North." Rosie was careful not to give her friend's real name. The last thing they needed was the Zdravkovas getting wind of an errant stable hand flinging with their precious niece. "Miss Eira," he said, nodding his head slightly at the other girl.
"She's very interested in horses." Rosalie nearly laughed, squeezing Eira's hand. "I thought maybe you could show her around the stables while I go fetch us some lunch?" She smiled sweetly, nudging her friend forward.
Surprised, Alec simply nodded beckoning her towards the entrance to the paddock.
Rosie turned, murmuring in Eira's ear. "Be back in a bit."
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
"Interesting and riveting as a funeral.”
Eira giggled. “Shut up. Even funerals are more interesting than being around Lev.” If Alec turned out to be as shallow as a puddle, as dumb as rocks, or as fascinating as watching grass grow, Eira supposed at least he was good-looking and forbidden. That above all else was going to be his most valuable trait in this.
"I haven't actually talked to him. Who knows, maybe he'll have something more interesting to talk about than himself.”
“He better,” Eira snorted. “I already got one of those at home.” Grinning brightly, she let Rosie pull her along, giddiness fluttering to life. It felt like fourth year all over again, scheming mischief with her best friend simply for the fun of it. When consequences hadn’t mattered, and the world had been theirs.
It felt like freedom.
She let her smile linger as they drew closer, watching Alec cease his work in favour of greeting Rosie, letting her gaze travel down his front and up. Athletic, alright, she wanted to mutter into her friend’s ear but bit her tongue. The analysis would have to wait for later. Instead, she allowed her smile to widen by a fraction when Alec’s gaze flicked to her.
Rosie introduced her as Eira North, her former full name she hadn’t heard in a while, and for a moment it felt like a stranger’s. Alien, sending a brief jolt down her spine. Nadežda didn't like that name and had forbidden her from using it. But then after a heartbeat, it settled right back where it belonged. At the centre of her core, the girl she truly was and had always been. That, too, felt like releasing the longest breath she'd ever held.
As Alec tipped his head, Eira tilted hers slightly, a spark of subtle mischief dancing in her eyes. This would be fun.
"She's very interested in horses."
Rosie's words sent a laugh up her throat, catching there as Eira stopped it just in time, her hand squeezing around Rosie's in return. She did like horses, but those weren’t the reason they’d come. It was a fantastic excuse though, and Eira dared a glance around, biting the inside of her cheek. God, how she’d missed this.
“Take your time,” she murmured back, letting go of Rosie’s hand with a soft giggle before turning to follow Alec into the stables. She hurried to catch up, falling into step beside him a moment later. Letting her shoulder brush against his with the lightest of touches for the briefest of moments, she smiled around at him, girlishly linking her fingers behind herself.
“What kind of horses do you keep here?” she asked, gaze never leaving Alec’s profile. “My favourites are Hanoverian and Friesian, although Haflinger are nice too, especially because they’re so patient and gentle, but I’m sure you know all that.”
She paused, coming to a halt to face Alec fully. Looking up at him, her head tilted once more, and for a prolonged moment she regarded him with an expression of open curiosity and intrigue. At last she spoke, keeping her tone innocent. “Show me your favourite horse?” she asked, hopeful, as though she feared he'd refuse.
The young man wasn't one for deep conversations. Aside from the language barrier, Alec preferred the type of interactions that were short, sweet and to the point, where he didn't have to ruminate too long on meanings and interpretations. Horses were easy. They had needs that were easily met and he didn't have to try and understand anything beyond those.
He'd always worked stables, since he was a young boy, in an effort to help put food on his family's table. His father was the same. Hard-working, of few words, set to get the job done and move on with his day. While Alec knew how to be polite and hospitable, especially towards his employers and their friends, being left to do his job in peace was most desirable.
He supposed pretty girls were the exception. Lady Rosalie was a beauty, but the rumors amongst the help were that she was married. He'd never seen her husband, and she seemed fairly young to already be tied down to someone, so he wasn't entirely sure how accurate those rumors were. He knew she was off-limits anyway, as a member of the family. He had no intention of risking such a well-paying job for such a prestigious pureblood family on a fling that would go nowhere.
Her friend though....
“What kind of horses do you keep here?”
He could feel Eira's gaze burning into him as he led her through the large paddock and towards the back where the Laurences' horses were housed. "Mostly Thoroughbreds and Highland Ponies," he answered, rounding a corner to lead the girl back towards the inner stables.
“My favourites are Hanoverian and Friesian, although Haflinger are nice too, especially because they’re so patient and gentle, but I’m sure you know all that.”
He understood most of what she'd said, but he smiled politely, catching her blue eyes with his dark green. She was a pretty thing, obviously wealthy and from noble stock of some kind. They always had that look, didn't they? Angular facial features, striking eyes, and a confidence that he couldn't begin to understand. When her shoulder brushed against his, he took note, understanding, he thought, what this was meant to be.
A flirtation maybe. He could indulge a little.
“Show me your favourite horse?”
"My favorite...mmm..." he nodded her further down the row past Rosalie's horse to Lady Amelia's newest. A Spanish Andalusian, recommended by the stable master and used for racing. White, with gray spots all along its flank. "Here," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a few sugar cubes. He beckoned for Eira's hand, taking her gently by the wrist and dropping one into her palm.
"Flat," he indicated, tapping lightly on her fingers, and then guided her to waiting horse. His hand released hers, but his fingers remained, trailing lightly down her wrist, before he turned his attention back to the mare. "She is wild. Needs more training." His smile curled at the corner of his lips. "But I like her the way she is. Unbroken." The trainers would be here next week, taking their time to bring the mare to heel.
A tragedy, Alec mused. She was so vibrant in the pastures, racing across the meadows without a care in the world.
"You like her?"
baby i'm high octane
Fever In A Shockwave
He really was dark, wasn’t he? But in a settled kind of way. That unmoved expression, so stoic and professional. Broody and a little distanced. Rosie was right. That really was her type. Or perhaps one of them, but either way, Eira couldn’t help but feel a smidge of honest intrigue. He was calming somehow, expecting nothing. A bit of reprieve.
As he nodded her further down the stable, Eira followed, her face brightening with genuine excitement when Alec spoke of a Spanish Andalusian. Those were rare in Britain! She held onto the silly question of how the Laurences had managed to get their hands on a breed so strictly regulated for one second only, inwardly rolling her eyes at herself. Of course James Laurence would have one. He was James Laurence.
When they stopped before the stable door and the mare’s head poked out, Eira’s smile broadened. “Hello, pretty,” she said, marvelling at the creature’s profile and coat. She let her eyes roam as though she was seeing the loveliest of artworks anyone could have presented her with. When had she last felt awed by something? Delighted?
She pushed the thought aside, deciding she didn’t feel like reminiscing. She wanted this moment unmarred.
“Here.”
Alec’s voice drew her attention back to him, gaze finding the sugar cubes he was pulling out of his pocket. He beckoned for her, and Eira offered her hand, biting the inside of her cheek when the rough of his skin gently grazed against the soft of hers. Her eyes lifted to his as she received one of the cubes, following his instructions to flatten her fingers, and then watched as the mare nibbled the sugar from her palm.
A small giggle escaped before she could stop it. She had always loved the feel of a horse’s muzzle, soft and wobbly of sorts, breath hot as it streamed along her skin. Contrasting beautifully with the cool rush of goosebumps growing in the wake of Alec’s trailing touch.
"She is wild. Needs more training. But I like her the way she is. Unbroken."
Sugar cube gone, Eira lowered her hand and looked around at Alec. “Wild and unbroken, huh?” she grinned, tracing the curl around his lips before finding his eyes again. “Fortunate.”
"You like her?”
Eira nodded, smile a little softer again. “Yeah.” Carefully, she extended the back of her hand for the mare to sniff, and when she didn’t move away, Eira let her hand stroke down the horse’s neck, repeating the motion in silence. For a moment, she grew quiet.
She felt for the animal. Wild and unbroken, until someone had decided that needed to be changed. A familiar sadness crept in, dark and foggy, but Eira took a sharp breath, pulling herself together and those inky tendrils back into the box they belonged in, slamming the lid shut.
No self-pity either. No useless dolour.
Turning to face Alec fully, the playful glint returned to her eyes. “Do you like everything wild and untamed?” she asked, smiling cheekily. A small step closer reduced the distance between them to no more than a foot, her gaze trailing down to his chest. She released a hand from behind her back, fiddling with the placket of his shirt for a second before dropping it again. Looking back up, Eira tilted her head. “Or only horses?”
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